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WE HEAR...That the Subway Series has chins wagging in the Big Apple...That tabloids, TV and talk radio have all gone gaga in Gotham...That the "Bombers" and "Amazin's" have turned back the Timex to 1956—when hurlers still twirled no-nos, batsmen legged out bingles, sacks were pilfered, horsehides were clouted, sluggers slugged, skippers skipped, scribes scribbled, and the grand ol' game was the talk of the town.
OVERHEARD...That leggy starlet Sarah Jessica Parker (Yanks fan) and actor hubby Matthew Broderick (Metropolitans) could be Splitsville before this Series is kaput...That laff-riot Billy Crystal (Bombers) and rival funnyman Jerry Seinfeld (Amazin's) won't soon swap yuks at the Friars Club...That YOU don't give a fig about the self-absorbed citizens of New York and their arcane tabloid argot...That Demo prez hopeful Al Gore wrestling GOP veep candidate Dick Cheney—naked, greased up in Paul Newman's Own Oil & Vinegar—is more appealing, televisually, to most Americans than this interborough tilt of titans...But I've got a secret...A little bird tells me...Pssst, come closer: Gothamites don't care what you think...CITY TO NATION: DROP DEAD.
SPIED...In last Friday's Daily News, this matter-of-fact photo caption: "Many around U.S. (aka The Losers) are lashing out at an all-New York Series." Mr. and Mrs. America—and all our ships at sea—that's what you are to New Yorkers: Losers...Nowheresville...Flyoverland.
SPOTTED...Pinstripes heartthrob Derek Jeter, at hot spot One 51, getting this close to Bombay beauty Lara Dutta, a.k.a. Miss Universe...Amazin's backstop Mike Piazza, at Bambu in South Beach, getting thisclose to Peruvian pinup Darlene Bernaola, a.k.a. Playboy's Playmate of the Millennium...YOU, at IHOP, getting thisclose to tossing your waffles if forced to read one more word about "Bombers" and "Amazin's" who "canoodle" with "galpals" at "in-spots."
SUBWAY FATIGUE...Scribe Tony Kornheiser, on the Don Imus radio gabfest: "Everybody's gonna write that column about riding the 7 train, and by the time the Series starts, nobody in America's gonna care anymore."... Christopher (Mad Dog) Russo, on his WFAN radio chin-wag: "I don't know if this Series is gonna translate in Peoria."... Real live Peorian Bill Liesse, in the Peoria Journal-Star. "Two teams that couldn't win a game in September are in the World Series. Clearly, the new century has brought the most flawed set of postseason teams of my lifetime."
NEVERTHELESS...The New York faithful are really standing by their diamond faves...Witness this exchange, between a reporter from Gotham cable channel New York 1, and a little girl at Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary School in Queens, where the principal just happens to be Sister Marguerite Torre—whose kid brother Joe helms the Bombers:
Reporter (cooing): "And how old are you?"
Little Girl (nervously): "Five." Reporter: "And how long have you been a Yankees fan?"
Little Girl (earnestly): "The whole week." (And no, folks, her name isn't Hillary Clinton.)
GOLD GUV...All the pols around town are talkin' baseball this week, not only the First Missus...Take this zinger, zung by GOP prexy hopeful George W. Bush, during a white-tie dinner at the Waldorf. " New York is full of major leaguers," sez the Guv, "like Derek Jeter, Mike Piazza—and Adam Clymer." (Big time!)