WOULD YOU spend a month's salary on a driver that gives you 10 extra yards? Would you give up Super Bowl tickets to guarantee a straight tee ball? Would you pass on dinner with Jennifer Lopez if, overnight, you could back up a wedge shot like the big boys? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you're what Arnold Palmer calls a recreational golfer, and as such you're qualified to use these helpful—and nonconforming to USGA standards—items found at the PGA show.
Golf, like most of our favorite activities, goes better with a lubricant. Forget messy gels and gooey sticks: Spray Flight Coat ($14.95) on the face of your clubs (a secret ingredient helps it evaporate in seconds), and you're left with a high-tech Exxon Valdez slick that minimizes side spin and makes your shots—yes!—go straight. Best of all, this slightly toxic spray contains no ozone-depleting chemicals. Looks like a win-win for everybody.
This smorgasbord of interchangeable inserts can make a ball hit by the Spin Doctor RI wedge (wedge, $99.95; inserts, $5.95-$14.95 each) back up like a yo-yo, sit down, roll over, play dead or sing Edelweiss. Insert choices include diamond, titanium, nickel and, our favorite, the reverse groove. Square grooves? They're for sissies. The Spin Doctor's reverse groove will slice your ball better than a Veg-O-Matic.
At 450 cubic centimeters, the head of the Integra Super 450 ($249) driver was the biggest at the show—possibly even bigger than Garth Brooks's. The Super 450's ultrathin beta titanium shell creates way too much springlike effect to be legal, and the driver's manly seven-inch shaft says this supersized club is perfect for you, that is, if your name is Herman Munster. Warning: may cause a solar eclipse.
Like a rolling stone
You name the rule, the Viper ball ($19.99 a dozen) breaks it. The Viper is too heavy, too small and has too much initial velocity. No need to dial 1-800 before making a long-distance call with these babies.
Get a grip on your game, finally, with Powerglove ($15.95). Slip the butt of the club handle through the loop just below the pinkie finger and the club locks into your palm like the ex-wife on your assets. It's like having a sixth finger. If you're physically impaired (don't forget to bring a note from your doctor), the Powerglove might be okayed for use in competition. Hey, that hardly seems fair.