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Hospital Zone Defense
Steve Rushin
April 02, 2001
Oh, doctor! Sports can lead to illness, perhaps even sickness unto sudden death
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April 02, 2001

Hospital Zone Defense

Oh, doctor! Sports can lead to illness, perhaps even sickness unto sudden death

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Sisterectomy—Procedure by which one of the Williams siblings, Venus or Serena, removes herself from a match for the benefit of the other.

Slerpes—First discovered in Fernando Valenzuela and now seen in Boston Red Sox reliever Rich Garces, this STD (straw-transmitted disease) is caused by the serial consumption of slush-based beverages at 7-Eleven.

Zimmerrhoids—What you get after sitting on a bench for 52 years.

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