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Coming to a Mountain Near You
Rick Reilly
August 06, 2001
As you know, federal law stipulates that each summer every American family must drive at least 14 hours in a Plymouth Voyager with no air conditioning to visit Mount Rushmore, just so the children can estimate how many canoes they could stuff up Teddy Roosevelt's nostrils.
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August 06, 2001

Coming To A Mountain Near You

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Goats (Buffalo)—Fred Merkle, Roberto DeVicenzo, Jackie Smith, Bill Buckner.

Gymnastics ( Houston)—Nadia Comaneci, Olga Korbut, Larysa Latynina, that Ken doll in American Anthem.

Hockey ( Lake Placid, N.Y.)—Gordie Howe, Bobby Orr, Vladislav Tretiak, Wayne Gretzky.

Lacrosse ( Baltimore)—Jim Brown, Casey Powell, the Gait brothers.

Mascots ( Orlando)—Max Patkin, Uga I, San Diego Chicken, Phoenix Gorilla.

Skateboarding (steps in front of the DMV in Redondo Beach, Calif.)—Tony Hawk profile from the left, Tony Hawk from the right, Tony Hawk from straight on, Tony Hawk upside down.

Skiing ( Winter Park, Colo.)—Jean-Claude Killy, Hermann Maier, Alberto Tomba trying to look down Suzy Chaffee's blouse.

Soccer ( Columbus, Ohio)—Mia Hamm and three Brazilians with one name.

Swimming ( Mission Viejo, Calif.)—Buster Crabbe, Mark Spitz, Janet Evans, Duke Kahanamoku.

Tennis ( Compton, Calif.)—Bill Tilden, Rod Laver, Pete Sampras, Steffi Graf.

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