Baby's First Sports Book

A's for Al Michaels, waxing on lyrically. Who knew that sports could make us feel miracley?

B is for Boston, its cursed Bambino. And Buckner, who choked on an iced Mookiechino.

C is the letter that's worn on the shirts Of the Cubs, who suck wind like others suck Certs.

D is the average grade on the tests
Of athletes with UNLV on their chests.

E is for eBay, where you can buy Harmon
Killebrew's '65 Series-used Charmin.

F's for Ford Frick, and F's for Fred Funk.
And F's for the Fridge, who has junk in the trunk.

G is the string that is favored by strippers,
For holding the bills of NBA tippers.

H is for Hammerin' Hank of Milwaukee.
H is for Howe, a.k.a. Mr. Hockey.

I is a pronoun that pros leave unspoken:
"Herschel thinks Herschel's ankle is broken."

J is for Jesse, who upstaged the Nazis, Whose swastika armbands then became Schottzie's.