Whoa For Five

Who says Keanu Reeves has limited range? In his new film, Hardball (above, left), opening Friday, Reeves plays a baseball coach, his latest athletic role. A review of his career stats:

Hardball Role Conor O'Neill, down-on-his-luck gambler forced to coach urban Little League team. Display of athletic prowess Scrambles up fire escape to outrun bookie's thugs. Career failing Keeps placing big bets on post-Jordan Bulls. Sports line "What do I know about coaching baseball?"

The Replacements Role Shane Falco (middle), ex- Ohio State quarterback turned replacement player. Display of athletic prowess Throws perfect spiral in first pro practice. Career failing Choked in Sugar Bowl. Sports line "Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever."

Point Break Role Johnny Utah, ex- Ohio State quarterback turned FBI agent. Display of athletic prowess Spins football on fingertip. Career failing Suffered a knee injury in Rose Bowl. Sports line "In high school I played football because my old man expected me to."

Parenthood Role Tod (right), slacker drag racer. Display of athletic prowess Demonstrates WWF rassling techniques on brother-in-law. Career failing Crashes brother's car in first race. Sports line After being pulled from wreckage on track, asks, "Did I win?"

Youngblood Role Heaver, French-Canadian minor league hockey goalie. Display of athletic prowess Balances roll of stick tape on his head. Career failing Can't stop any of Rob Lowe's shots in practice. Sports line No intelligible quotes.