Honey, Have You Seen The Banana Clips for My .223 Bushmaster?
Jets free safety Damien Robinson was arrested for carrying a semiautomatic rifle and 200 rounds of ammunition into the Giants Stadium parking lot in his car. "He forgot," said teammate Ray Mickens, "just like sometimes I forget my wallet."
This Round's on Me
An off-duty cop, with a beer in one hand, dropped his gun onto the field while reaching for a foul ball at a Tigers game.
It's Not a Deal Breaker, but His Agent Wants to Know If It's Possible to Move the Stanley Cup Finals to Moscow
Pavel Bure left the bench at the NHL All-Star Game midway through the third period to catch the last nonstop flight from Denver to his home in Miami.
Satan Steps Up in the Pocket
Days after telling the New York Post he was "serving God and sacking Satan," former Jet Mark Gastineau was jailed for violating probation stemming from a '98 conviction for assaulting his wife.
And Their Goal Celebrations Would Be Much, Much Better
Coach Eduard Geyer of Energie Cottbus in the top German soccer league likened his players to the "whores of Hamburg," because "all they do is smoke cigarettes, drink too much and sleep around." A Hamburg prostitute said, "If Geyer's team were in as good condition as our whores, they'd be top of the Bundesliga."