...a reporter stick a tape recorder in the face of the linebacker, say, "Talk about the game, Tank," and Tank reply, "Wait a minute. You sat in that press box for 2� hours, toasty warm, with stats handed to you, replays on 50 TV sets, prime rib buffet—with two desserts—and you can't think of one single question to ask me?"
...some megamillionaire athlete take MTV's Cribs on a tour of his mansion and get lost?
... Rasheed Wallace stick his hand in the air after being called for a foul?
...genius manager Joe Torre try to win a game with the Kansas City Royals' lineup?
...radio bad-boy Jim Rome say to a caller, "Hey, there's no need to be nervous. Take your time. Nobody's judging you here. You're among friends!"
...the superstar outfielder go on and on in a press conference about how he needs a trade closer to his home so he can drive the carpool, when his wife stands up in the back and yells, "Really? You want to drive the carpool? How about November? I hear you're pretty free then! How come you never drive the carpool in November? You're going to force a trade to Atlanta so you can drive the carpool? That'll be some trick, since we live in Orlando!"
...two WWF wrestlers actually land haymakers and go bawling off to their dressing rooms?
...the winning Super Bowl quarterback holler, "I'm going to Disney World! And after that, we're taking a real vacation!"
...a belligerent hockey fan screaming bloodthirsty insults at a 6'6" goon in the penalty box when he suddenly realizes there's no glass between them?
... Kobe Bryant's run-jump-land-and-jump-again move get called for what it is: traveling?