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THE SHOW
Bill Scheft
December 02, 2002
Good to be here. Anybody need tickets for the next seven Arturo Gatti-Micky Ward fights?
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December 02, 2002

The Show

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And only two batboys will be allowed in the dugout at any time. Although J.T. Snow will be allowed to bring a carryon item.

In other baseball news Mets catcher Mike Piazza went to Italy and had an audience with the pope. And this was nice. The pope taught him how to say "I'm not gay" in Latin.

The Padres signed relief pitcher Jesse Orosco. He'll be placed on their way-over-40-man roster.

The man who knocked out David Wells's teeth in a diner was found guilty of assault. However, he was acquitted on weapons possession because the butter knife he was holding was registered.

TOMMY MADDOX IS O.K.

The Steelers QB was released from the hospital after recovering from head and neck injuries. However, Troy Aikman is being held for observation after watching the replay.

Because of a design flaw Gillette Stadium does not have nearly enough men's rooms. On Sunday three Patriots fans were arrested in the stands for trying to go on fourth down.

Hamilton County, Ohio, is being urged to sue the Bengals for not fielding a competitive football team in taxpayer-funded Paul Brown Stadium. I'm no Alan Dershowitz, but isn't this "breach of contact"?

THIS JUST IN: TIGER WOODS HAS ANNOUNCED HE WILL NOT ENTER THIS YEARS BASSMASTERS

In related news The New York Times urged Augusta National to change its membership policies. Not to be outdone, Hootie Johnson told The National Enquirer he was abducted by aliens working in the clubhouse kitchen.

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