The Show

Good to be here. Anybody need tickets for the next seven Arturo Gatti-Micky Ward fights?

BIGGER COURT FOR MICHAEL?

A woman accused of extortion by Michael Jordan is now suing him, claiming that in 1991 he offered her $5 million to keep quiet. That's ridiculous. Five million dollars in 1991, and she wasn't even a lottery pick?

Come on. Nobody takes money from Michael Jordan. Except the house.

The woman claims she had an oral agreement with Michael. An oral agreement. Isn't that what got Clinton impeached?

In other NBA news the Nets are trying to get point guard Chris Childs to lose weight. So far the best they've come up with is having Dikembe Mutombo give him the finger wag every time Childs orders pie.

The Dallas Mavericks are now 13-0. And I don't get this. David Stern is thinking about fining Mark Cuban for not complaining.

In two games last week Yao Ming scored 48 points on 17-for-23 shooting from the field. Are you like me? Are you thinking Charles Barkley should change the name of his show from Listen Up to Pucker Up?

MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL CONSIDERING A MINIMUM AGE FOR BATBOYS

You must be at least 16, or really adorable.