I believe that 300 basketballs dribbled simultaneously by eight-year-old basketball campers sound like buffalo thundering across the plains. And inspire even greater awe.
I believe that two high school janitors pushing twin dust mops at halftime can be every bit as hypnotic as dueling Zambonis.
I believe that any sucker can wear a $40,000 gold necklace as thick as a bridge cable when the only necklace worth wearing in basketball is a nylon net that costs $9-99. (But—and here's the point—it can't be bought.)
I'm a believer in Lafayette Lever and regret never having covered him, for if I had, my first sentence about him would have been, "There must be 50 ways to love your Lever."
I believe that jumping off a trampoline, turning a midair somersault, slam-dunking and sticking the landing—while wearing a gorilla suit that's wearing, in turn, a Phoenix Suns warmup jacket-is enough to qualify you as a first-ballot Hall-of-Famer.
I believe in Harthorne Wingo, and I believe in Zap the dingo, the Detroit Shock mascot whose costume was stolen from the Palace of Auburn Hills by two men who were caught—one in the dingo head, the other in the dingo feet—drinking in a bar across the street.
I believe in former Notre Dame guard Leo (Crystal) Klier and former Providence center Jacek (Zippity) Duda and former Iowa State center (What the) Sam Hill.
I believe in dunking dirty clothes into the hallway hamper and skyhooking—from the shotgun seat—quarters into highway toll baskets. And I believe in finger-rolling heads of lettuce into my shopping cart, even though I have never, in the last 10 years, eaten a piece of lettuce at home.
I believe I can still hold, in my right hand, a boom box the size of a Samsonite Streamlite while carrying, in my left, a slick rubber ball whose pebble-grain stubble has long before been dribbled away. And that I can do so while riding a 10-speed bike and steering with my knees.
I believe that the Truth ( Drew Gooden) and the Answer ( Allen Iverson) are out there, if we will simply follow the bouncing ball.