Long: I don't ever have a good day.
SI: Who carries the Radio Shack commercials: you or Teri Hatcher?
Long: Actually, it's the writer, Barry King. We've now done like 75 commercials. When we started out, I had no idea the thing would take off.
SI: PEOPLE magazine once described your hair as a Flash Gordon brush cut. How would you describe it?
Long: I'd describe it as a $9 haircut I get at Staples Barber Shop in Charlottesville, Va.
SI: Your wife, Diane, is a nonpracticing lawyer. Do you ever win an argument against her?
Long: Are you kidding? She was on the debate team at Villanova, went to USC Law and was a corporate litigator for seven years. Three quarters of the way through the argument it's spun in a totally different direction. I'm like, "How did we get to this point?"
SI: What do you miss most from your playing days?
Long: Probably the competition. As a broadcaster, when you go to a big game, you think, Wow, I can still [play football]. Then you bend over to tie your shoe, and you realize you can't.