His first order of business: getting Trent Lott to apologize to Charlotte for losing the Hornets.
In other NBA news Michael Jordan submitted court papers claiming that the woman who's suing him for $5 million agreed to take $250,000 to keep their affair quiet. And I think we can all agree: She did a bang-up job keeping quiet.
Actually the offer was $250,000 to keep quiet, $375,000 if Jordan got blackjack.
And $250,000? That's just bad business. Didn't she know she could have made much more money having a kid with Shawn Kemp?
Karla Knafel. Didn't she try to jump 12 NBA team buses and Snake River Canyon in 1974?
AVALANCHE AXE BOB HARTLEY
It was sad at the end. He had only one supporter: Mr. Carlin.
HARRY HOLLINGSWORTH, WHO POPULARIZED USING A COMPUTER TO MAKE FOOTBALL PICKS, DIES AT 77
The computer had under 78.
My time is up. You've been great. Enjoy the Royal Guardsmen.