You were smart to ask me to prepare you for your first crack at the men's tour, May 22 at the Colonial in Fort Worth, Texas. As somebody who's caddied badly on the PGA Tour (for Tom Lehman) and the LPGA tour ( Jill McGill), I know all the ways to screw up.
O.K., first of all...
Be careful. It's not quite as cordial with the men. On the LPGA tour, for instance, you hear a lot of conversations like this:
Laura Diaz: God, those shorts are darling. Are they J. Jill?
Juli Inkster: No, they're Donna Karan. But you're sweet!
On the PGA Tour, you're more likely to hear a conversation like this:
Tiger Woods: God, your clubs suck. Are they Titleist?
Phil Mickelson: Yes, they are. Oops! Did one of them just smash your good knee?