Pool Shark

You know about FACES IN THE CROWD, right? It's maybe the best thing we do. It's just people's achievements, simple as that. No agents, contracts or Hummers. They never fail to astound.

Amber Blotch, 16, won her 1,062nd straight tennis match using a spatula.

But when I read about an 85-year-old swimmer awhile back, Jim Eubank of Oceanside, Calif., I knew somebody was yanking our chain. It wasn't just what the caption said—that he'd broken the 85-to-89-age-group swimming world record in the 800-meter freestyle by more than 14 seconds and set two other records besides—it was his picture.

Look at all that hair! Where are all the wrinkles? If he's 85, why doesn't his neck look like beef jerky? Who's in charge of his birth certificate? The Dominican Republic?

I called him. "No, I'm not 85," he said.

Ah-ha!

"I'm 86 now."

I didn't buy it. I asked him if it were true that he still had the world record in the 800 meters. "No," he said.

There you go!

"Now I've got the world records in the 100,200,400 and 1,500 too." Tired of my pestering, he finally said, "Come on out, and I'll take you on!"