The Show

Good to be here. I don't know about you, but for me, nothing says March Madness like a Final Four in April.

NCAA DOWN TO ONLY 16

That is, only 16 in-game promos for Survivor.

Butler stunned Louisville in the second round of the tournament. And I don't get this: Rick Pitino said it would have never happened if he'd been able to get Tim Duncan.

In other college hoops news, Bob Knight refused to accept his salary this season because the team fell far short of his expectations. Oh, my God, he still thinks he's at Indiana!

A'S-MARINERS JAPAN SERIES CANCELED

Great. Now what are they going to do with the 500,000 passes Ichiro left at Will Call?

What a shame. Just when the citizens of Tokyo had come up with enough money to put a down payment on Miguel Tejada.

The Devil Rays' equipment bus was severely damaged after it hit a cow. Here's the sad part: Before the accident the cow had the inside track to be the Rays' fifth outfielder.

Jose Canseco was sentenced to two years' house arrest. Which means he and brother Ozzie can only start bar fights in his den.