The Show

And congratulations to Sammy Sosa, who became the 18th player to hit 500 home runs. Rafael Palmeiro is still nine away from 500. But his streak of consecutive games on Viagra is alive at 169.

Palmeiro didn't want to be a pitchman. In fact, the first time he bought Viagra, he told the pharmacist it was for Rusty Greer.

I don't want to tell people their business, but wouldn't a more natural spokesman for Viagra be A-Rod?

NBA TO AIR DRAFT LOTTERY IN PRIME TIME ON ABC
And they've renamed it 8 Simple Rules for Dating LeBron.

Last Wednesday, during a Trail Blazers practice, Zach Randolph punched team mate Ruben Patterson in the face. Things got so out of hand, players rushed over from two other fights to break it up.

Ron Artest was fined $20,000 for making an obscene gesture to Cleveland fans on April 2. Austin Croshere was injured trying to restrain Artest's finger.

PENGUINS" LEMIEUX MAY RETIRE THIS SUMMER.
I think he's just trying to show up the owner.

Mario feels good physically, but he's desperate to keep pace with Michael Jordan's career retirements.

Red Wings assistant Joey Kocur was suspended for throwing a chair onto the ice during a game against the Blues. On the bright side, every time a coach throws a chair, Bob Knight gets a $50 royalty.

MIKE TYSON COHOSTS JIMMYKIMMEL LIVE
And this isn't surprising. The show's ratings shot up in the coveted 18-34 sociopathic felon demographic.