The Show

Sorry I'm late. I had to drop Bob Ryan off at sensitivity training class.

BRAVES AGAIN LEADING NL EAST
Meanwhile, what do you say we cut the formalities and just declare the Mets Wilpons of Mass Self-Destruction?

The Mets are dying to attract customers. Last Saturday at Shea Stadium was Mo Vaughn bobblehead giveaway. And thanks to state-of-the-art technology, Mo's bobblehead comes with a jigglegut.

And you can fill the right knee with your choice of fluid.

The Royals won their first 11 games at home, falling one short of the major league record, set by the Tigers in 1911. Of course, that's when the Tigers were still using major leaguers.

MIKE SHULA NAMED NEW HEAD COACH AT ALABAMA
All that's left is the contract signing and the gelding procedure.

I don't want to give anyone career advice, but if I were that stripper, I'd change my stage name from Destiny to Bare Bryant.

PHIL JACKSON UNDERGOES HEART PROCEDURE
His angioplasty took two hours, and there were no complications—except when security' had to warn Jack Nicholson about getting too close to the anesthesiologist.

The Pistons are 4-0 when Anita Baker sings the national anthem. Not only that, she's the only one who can post up Ben Wallace in practice.

Meanwhile, everybody's still criticizing the NBA referees. The other day David Stern had to fine himself $50,000.