The Show

Good to be here. Just finished a new book about Wizards: Harry Potter and the Vanishing Season-Ticket Base.

NEXTEL TO REPLACE WINSTON AS CORPORATE SPONSOR OF NASCAR

The deal becomes effective next January, at which time the Winston Cup will be turned into the Bodine Family Spittoon.

Are you like me? I bet you can't wait for next season's Talladega 500 Minutes.

O.K., one more.... NASCAR driver concussions will each feature their own distinctive ring.

LENNOX LEWIS CUTS AND RUNS WITH HEAVYWEIGHT BELT

When the fight was stopped after six rounds, Lewis was behind on all cards at the Staples Center. Help me out here. Nobody could find any staples for Vitali Klitschko's eye?

In other boxing news, Mike Tyson was arrested in an early morning brawl in New York City. (I know what you're thinking, but no, this is not a repeat of THE SHOW from 1988.)

FINALS EXIT: NBA RATINGS TUMBLE

Sad. Just when you thought the low scoring was over.