Note to reader: For no logical reason, until further notice please replace all references to Barry Zito with Roger Clemens.
THE SLIPPER FITS! BEN CURTIS WINS BRITISH OPEN! UNBELIEVABLE
A year ago this kid was playing on the Hooters Tour. Of course, the big prize on the Hooters Tour is the Claret Jugs.
Tiger Woods never recovered from a triple bogie on the 1st hole last Thursday. He finished two strokes back and has not won a major in more than 13 months. O.K., I'll say it. It's time to retire and play minor league baseball.
John Daly tied for last with a final-round 80. He played so poorly he has to go to Q school next year to be one of Michael Douglas's friends.
Tough conditions the first two days in England. Or, as Tony Blair called it, "weather of mass destruction."
As usual, there were some surprise early front-runners. S.K. Ho. Wasn't that a character on In Living Color?
AL UNTIES NL 7-6
They're already tinkering with next year's All-Star Game. In the new format the losing league gets custody of the Expos.
Surprisingly, National league manager Dusty Baker did not save his position players. By the end of the game the only people left on his bench were Geoff Jenkins and Amy Grant.