Before we begin, be honest: How many of you still think the X Games are a track meet for Larry King's wives?
LEBRON SIGNS $12 MILLION DEAL TO PROMOTE SPRITE AND POWERADE
It's official: If 7-Up is the "Uncola," Sprite is now the UnKobe.
In other NBA news Arvydas Sabonis retired. He will return to Lithuania, where his legs have been living for the last two years.
Tony Massenburg signed with the Sacramento Kings. He's working on his 12th NBA roster. That ties the record held by Chucky Brown and Madonna.
U.S. OPEN UNDER WAY WITHOUT SERENA, VENUS
Sad. For the next two weeks, you can find more Williamses at the Alcor Life Extension Foundation.
The USA Network hired Anna Kournikova as a correspondent. Perfect. USA never makes it to the semis, either.
The Open organizers are scrambling to generate interest. The third seed on the ladies' side is Mandy Moore.
And the men's draw is suffering as well. No Sampras, no Funny Cide, no Empire Maker...