?Why can't we watch Tim Duncan, Tracy McGrady and the rest of the Dream Team make their Olympic qualifying run? The Tournament of the Americas in Puerto Rico isn't being broadcast on network or cable TV—but it's hard to figure who's to blame. Last January, Hector Figueroa, owner of a small San Juan production company, purchased the rights from FIBA, the sports' international governing body, for $2 million. Last month he said FIBA wanted him to show the games only on pay-per-view; now he insists he tried to resell the rights to cable or network, but no one offered him enough; ESPN, says Figueroa, only wanted this Sunday's final. But ESPN's executive VP of programming and production, Mark Shapiro, denies that's so, adding, "This would have been a huge ratings winner if we could have gotten our hands on it." The bottom line: The tournament is airing only on pay-per-view at $59.95 for 12 games or $9.95 for each U.S. game. Figueroa is optimistic he'll make a profit, but for most viewers the tournament is a total loss.
?The No Fun League is becoming a veritable comedy club. First HBO hired sitcom star George Lopez as a rotating entertainment reporter with Wanda Sykes on Inside the NFL. Now Fox Sports has announced that Frank Caliendo, a MAD TV cast member with a dead-on John Madden impersonation, will take over for Jimmy Kimmel as Fox NFL Sunday's game prognosticator and resident funnyman. "I don't do John Madden impressions to be mean," said Caliendo. "I do John Madden impressions to make money."... Clip and save: Tennis analysts John McEnroe and Mary Carillo pick Andy Roddick to win his first Grand Slam title at the U.S. Open.