Your team Sucks.
My team is in the first year of its annual five-year rebuilding program.
Your team is full of thugs, criminals and perverts.
My team is colorful.
Your college coach wouldn't suspend his star players even if they stored the stolen stereos under his desk.
My college coach believes in due process.
Your quarterback is dumber than a bottle of peroxide. He wouldn't know the playbook if Elmo read it to him.
My quarterback relies on his athletic instincts.
Your announcer is a shameless, drunk homer.
My announcer is the last of a dying breed.