The Show

Elsewhere, the White Sox named Ozzie Guillen their new manager. Guillen retired in 2000 and has spent the last three years cleaning his batting helmet.

MESSIER MOVES TO SECOND ON ALLTIME NHL SCORING PARADE

The 24-year veteran scored an empty-net goal to pass Gordie Howe. Here's what I don't get. The assists went to Kovalev and Gretzky.

The NHL has hired former Al Gore consultants to do p.r. So, if they do their job, get ready for four years off.

MU'AMMAR GADHAFI'S SON, ITALIAN SOCCER PLAYER, TESTS POSITIVE FOR STEROIDS
Of course the kid claims he got the stuff from his twin brother, Ozzie Gaddafi.

U.S. BASEBALL TEAM FAILS TO QUALIFY FOR OLYMPICS

Great Now Roger Clemens has to convince people he's Dutch.

My time is up. You've been great. Enjoy the Motels.