Look at the places we've taken you. To mind-numbing, spleen-jiggling, old Mile High Stadium. The middle of the half-time marshmallow fight at Folsom Field for Colorado games. The freestyle runs at Winter Park, where the bumps are slightly larger than VWs. Well, we've had it. We do and do and do and get nothin' in return. So...we're closing the borders.
You want to come swoosh through our champagne powder? Forget it. You want to train your Olympic athletes at our world-class facilities in Colorado Springs? Tough tomatoes. You want to come fly-fish streams so stocked you have to lock your tackle box to keep trout from jumping in? Try Kansas.
You want to pretend we don't exist? Fine. We don't. We're keeping it all to ourselves, beginning at noon tomorrow.
(2 Eastern, 1 Central, 11 a.m. Pacific.)