Goldman remembers a bodybuilder's sample in which drops of oil were suspended. "I thought, This guy's either cheating or dying," he says. Cheating, it turned out. The bodybuilder had dumped out a bottle of suntan lotion, filled it with water and taped it between his legs. "When I found the hidden bottle," Goldman reports, "he said, straight-faced, 'Oh, gee. How'd that get there?' "
This is one job with more spills than thrills. "I've had three athletes knock over their specimens," Johnston says. "All football players." The first let his beaker slip through his hands as he snapped on the lid. "A wide receiver," says Johnston. The second burst out of a bathroom holding his beaker aloft and promptly fumbled it. "A quarterback," says Johnston. As the third athlete struggled to meet the 80-milliliter minimum, he placed the beaker between his feet and idly kicked it over. "His position?" says Johnston. "Punter."
All things considered, the job is not without rewards. "You get to go to a lot of games," Johnston says, "and see a lot of the country." In the parlance of pee collecting, his cup runneth over.