EVEN SO, SEVERAL COWBOYS COMPLAINED THAT THEY STILL WEREN'T GETTING ENOUGH TOUCHES
Taylor said he frequently sent hookers to the hotel rooms of visiting players on nights before a game.
MARKETING WHIZ, PART II
The cable superstation TBS installed "talking ads" in 500 bar bathrooms that tell urinal users there are two prerequisites for manhood: using the toilet standing up and watching "as much college football as humanly possible."
BOWLING BALL STRIKES, SPARES WOMAN
A pedestrian in Greensboro, Ga., escaped with only a broken leg after a bowling ball, run over by a road worker cutting grass, shot out from beneath the vehicle's tire and hit her.
"I DON'T KNOW BUT I HAVE READ!... THIS GUY HAS AN EMPTY HEAD!"
After losing a football game to Tennessee, Miami tight end Kellen Winslow told reporters, "It's war. They're out to kill you, so I'm out there to kill them.... I'm a soldier."
"I DON'T KNOW BUT I HAVE HEARD!... FEW TEAM NICKNAMES MORE ABSURD!"
On their official website, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers billed their defensive stars as "Weapons of Mass Destruction."
BETTER RED THAN DEAD
Martin Warburton, a Manchester United fan, agreed to be a donor for his brother's life-saving stem cell transplant on several conditions: that the brother, a Manchester City fan, join a Man United fan club; that he sign a contract renouncing his support for City; and that he repaint his house red.
"MY BONNIE LIES OVER HIS TRANSCRIPT...."
The president of St. Bonaventure resigned when a basketball transfer was revealed to have gained admission on the basis of a welding certificate.
HOW HAD HE BEEN TAKING IT?
A few days after his team lost its playoff series to the Yankees, Red Sox president Larry Lucchino said, "I've started taking food orally again."