Today's weather forecast calls for 1973 over most of the country, with a cool front of old guys moving in fast and a 98% chance of way more Matlock reruns.
Has old ever been newer? Look around, Bubba. College point guards are into the senior-citizen look—long shorts, black socks pulled up to their knees and six-inch-high, mesh-style caps. The hottest things to wear are jerseys that honor wrinkly old jocks. From Montauk to Mission Viejo, we're one giant Early Bird Special.
Joe Gibbs, 63, is the latest proof that old guys are hip, even if that hip is artificial. The Washington Redskins just gave him close to $30 million to coach for five years, and he hasn't so much as blown a whistle in 11 years. That's because the Redskins want to be more like the Kansas City Chiefs, who are led by a guy who is 67, Dick Vermeil, who wants to be more like Florida Marlins manager Jack McKeon, who just won a World Series at 72.
Hey, bartender, creamed corn for everybody!
(Yo, Deion Sanders. You looking for a head-coaching job? Call us in 40 years.)
If age is the rage, let's find more! Who's the next geezer to be asked to take his teeth out of the nightstand glass and sink them into a foundering franchise?
Bum Phillips at 80? "Hail, no!" Phillips said from his cutting-horse ranch in Golead, Texas. "I mean, I could do it if I wanted to, but I don't want to. I love what I'm doin' now!"
Bud Grant, 76? He hasn't coached the Minnesota Vikings since 1985 and couldn't be dragged back by six Clydesdales. "Do I miss coaching?" Grant told the Minneapolis Star Tribune. "Only when I go to the bank."
John Madden, 67? "Man, the more I keep hearing about it," he said from his truck, driving to a golf game in Carmel, Calif., "the more you'd think I'd go, 'Hey, maybe me, too.' But the 'Me, too' part never comes."
How about you, 75-year-old Marv Levy, want to be recycled? "Yes!" Levy told the Chicago Tribune. "Look at Vermeil, [62-year-old Bill] Parcells and McKeon. In my opinion age doesn't mean anything."