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THE SHOW
Bill Scheft
March 01, 2004
I need to check with City Hall, but I believe right now that the only two men in San Francisco trying to break up are Barry Bonds and his personal trainer.
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March 01, 2004

The Show

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I need to check with City Hall, but I believe right now that the only two men in San Francisco trying to break up are Barry Bonds and his personal trainer.

GARY BARNETT GOES TO THE FAR SIDELINE

The Colorado football coach was placed on administrative leave. Yeah, in the same way Elvis is on administrative leave.

Memo to the university's Board of Regents: While you're at it, you may want to think of a new nickname to replace "Buffs."

Maybe I dreamed this, but the other day, at the end of The Price Is Right, I could have sworn I heard Bob Barker urge people to spay or neuter their returning lettermen.

SCOUTING COMBINE TELEVISED ON NFL NETWORK

Just to jazz things up, they added three lifelines to the Wonder-lie test.

Maurice Clarett announced he would skip the combine workouts. However, next month he'll conduct a private session in Columbus, where he'll I vertical-leap three federal judges.

RANGERS TO ASSUME MORE THAN A THIRD OF A-ROD'S SALARY

You know the only good thing about eating $67 million? No carbs.

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