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It's Greek to Me
Rick Reilly
June 07, 2004
Ever munched on a gyro? Sipped ouzo? Smashed a plate on the floor while dancing?
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June 07, 2004

It's Greek To Me

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Stacey Farnworth, a former college player who will be on the Greek team along with her two cousins, says the Americans are trying to bridge the language gap. "We try to use as much Greek as we can on the field," she says. "Like, How are you? is Ti kaneis? and Hello is Yassas" O.K., what's Greek for, The ball just rolled by us and two runs scored while we were chatting?

More than a third of the players on the Greek women's soccer team are Americans. That must make the folks in Sparta swell with pride.

None of these teams has a meatball's chance of winning a gold medal, nor do they have a right to. This is just the IOC wanting to be richer than King Croesus. It wants the host nation to have a team in each sport purely for ticket sales. After all, how else are you going to get Nick and Nia to go see a game that is so boring it requires a seventh-inning stretch just to stay awake?

If all the IOC cares about are tickets, let's get Jennifer Aniston on the softball team. Her name is shortened from Anastassakis and her godfather was Telly Savalas. Who doesn't love ya, baby?

In the Greek tradition, I'd like to spit in the hair of everybody involved. And not to ward off evil spirits, either.

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