The Show

Before we begin, did you hear about the seven-year-old skateboarder who signed an endorsement deal with Mattel? A seven-year-old pro skateboarder. What's his name, Freddy A-dude?

NOT SO FAST, SISTER. SHARAPOVA SCORES WIMBLEDON UPSET

Blonde, Russian and beautiful. During her straight-set triumph over Serena Williams, Maria Sharapova had 17 winners, and two million unforced hits on the Internet.

Last Thursday a young lady ran naked across Court 19 before a linesman covered her with a towel. I believe that's the farthest a British woman has advanced during the second week since Virginia Wade.

In the men's final Roger Federer defended his tide over Andy Roddick. The crowd was not exactly rooting for the American. At one point his only allies were Brad Gilbert and Tony Blair.

I don't want to say Federer is a machine on the court, but this summer he's playing for the Davis Cup team from Stepford.

STAPLES CENTER WON'T BECOME COACH K'S CORNER

The Lakers' attempt to hire away the Duke coaching legend got off to a rocky start. Mitch Kupchak had such trouble spelling his last name, he wound up offering $40 million to Mike Krushelnyski.

Shaquille O'Neal has put his Beverly Hills home on the market for $7.5 million, $6.5 million if you agree to take Travis Knight.

The place has its own movie theater. The bad news is the projector has been programmed to show only Kazaam.