The Game That Time And Iowa Forgot

Frank Luther Mott, the commissioner of the Iowa Baseball Confederacy, walks to the mound. He is joined by Arsenic O'Reilly, captain of the All-Stars and manager of the league-leading Big Inning Corn Kings, and Frank Chance, the player-manager of the Chicago Cubs. The crowd hushes. Mott introduces the managers, who doff their caps to the crowd. Both teams receive rousing applause. O'Reilly throws his final warmup pitches and Mott, dressed in a black suit and a high silk hat, takes his place behind the pitcher; from there he will call the game. The starting lineups are as follows:

[This article contains a table. Please see hardcopy of magazine or PDF.]

"Play ball!" shouts Mott.

The leadoff man for the Cubs is the Human Mosquito, Jimmy Slagle, the centerfielder. Henry Pulvermacher, the Confederacy catcher, holds up a beefy finger as a signal; O'Reilly fires.

"Strike one," intones Mott. The crowd roars its approval.

A sweeping curveball breaks in for strike two. The fans roar louder. O'Reilly must appear 10 feet tall as he winds up, leaning back so far it looks as though he might topple backward. He fires a fastball down the middle of the plate. Slagle strikes out. I imagine the crowd can be heard all the way to Iowa City.

Jimmy Sheckard, the Cub leftfielder, taps the first pitch, an easy roller to Oilcan Flynn at third. Two out. O'Reilly strikes out Evers on four pitches. The fans both roar and sigh, an eerie, animal-like sound, hollow, wild.

William Stiff, the lithe young left-fielder, is the leadoff batter for the All-Stars. On the fifth pitch from Three Finger Brown, Stiff strikes out, a mile in front of a "slowball," what I would call a changeup. Ezra Dean pops up. Flynn taps back to the pitcher.

Chicago Cubs 0, IBC All-Stars 0.

There is still no score when, with two out in the fourth inning, Flynn gets the first hit for the Confederacy. He slams a single up the middle under the glove of a diving Evers. Orville Swan, the long-legged first baseman, hits a weak looper to rightfield that drops in for a single, Flynn going to third.