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The Game That Done Him Wrong
Roy Blount Jr.
September 08, 1986
A reluctant participant in Chet Atkins' celebrity golf tournament, the author found comfort in country music as catastrophe followed calamity
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September 08, 1986

The Game That Done Him Wrong

A reluctant participant in Chet Atkins' celebrity golf tournament, the author found comfort in country music as catastrophe followed calamity

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I'll tell you what I started doing there at Callaway Gardens last September and have been doing since.

First, I thought of all the country song titles that might be about golf:

Born to Lose
Crazy Arms
Dang Me
Don't Let Me Cross Over
Eight More Miles to Louisville
God Walks These Hills With Me
Green, Green Grass of Home
Head in' Down the Wrong Highway
I'm a Fool to Care
I Really Don't Want to Know
It Makes No Difference Now
No One Will Ever Know
There Goes My Everything

And there's that line from Nine Pound Hammer. "Roll on, buddy, don't you roll so slow."

My heart still hurt, though, when I had thought of all those things, so I started making up country-golf song titles:

I Got No More Business in a Golf Tournament (Than You Do in My Heart)

I'm Just A-Tryin' to Hit a Straight Lick (With a Crooked Stick)

You Can't Tell My Heart From a Hole in the Ground

Like a Fool I Kept Giving You Mulligans (But You Didn't Want to Shoot Straight)

This Must Be What I Did Before (Because I Seem to Be Doing It Again)

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