"And three weeks after he's found naked in some woman's backyard, Edwin Simmons is playing again."
" Akers is the only coach in America who'd sit on a 9-3 lead."
"After the Freedom Bowl, Fred installed his Highway Patrol Defense: Keep 'em under 55."
"He insinuates that anyone who criticizes is disloyal, that the only reason we're mad is we lose our bets. I didn't lose my bet on the Oklahoma game."
"I hear Fred takes his Wheaties on a plate, 'cause he has trouble with bowls."
"Did you hear how the judge settled the child-beating custody case? He gave the kid to Fred Akers, 'cause he doesn't beat anybody."
"This is Texas. This is 'Remember the Alamo.' One of the emotions that built this state is revenge, tit for tat. But we lose to A & M. And lose to A & M again, and again. We get none of it."
Maybe that was Akers' fatal shortcoming. Of all the mortal emotions that he could have displayed at the end, vengeance wasn't one. Akers just wanted to keep his job at a school that makes so many demands academically, athletically and ethically that he could meet only 95% of them. "This is my life," he says. "This is my work, and I'm good at it."
Akers' wife, Diane, however, does put in a claim on revenge. She's a feisty woman of 5'2" who uses a Magnum to shoot rattlesnakes on the family ranch outside Austin. "I believe in reincarnation," she said recently. "And in my next life I want to come back as a defensive tackle, 'cause I feel like hitting some people."
Maybe in that next life the fates will give Akers a chance to teach her the four-point stance, and how to fire out, and how to hit hard, real hard.