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Eleven Is a Big Fat Crowd
Frank Deford
September 09, 1987
Sorry, Dr. Z, but there are too many players—no-necks in particular
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September 09, 1987

Eleven Is A Big Fat Crowd

Sorry, Dr. Z, but there are too many players—no-necks in particular

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Will the defendant rise and state his or her name?

Eleven, your honor.

Oh no, not you again. The usual charge, officer?

Yes, your honor. We've got Eleven on vagrancy again.

Don't you ever do anything?

Well, your honor, look at it this way: If it weren't for me, Ten and a Dozen would bump into each other all the time.

Watch it, Eleven. Any more wisecracks like that, and I'll hold you in contempt of court. Are you good for anything?

Well, your honor, there's the 11th hour and 7-come-11.

Don't gimme that, Eleven. The only reason there's an 11th hour is that the 12th hour is what counts, and 7 is really lucky. You're just a back-up lucky number. Big deal.

Well, your honor, the Armistice went into effect at 11 a.m. on the 11th day of the 11th month.

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