To help Southern Methodist students get through football withdrawal, the nice folks at the Willow Bend Polo and Hunt Club in Dallas have invited them to some of the club's fall competitions. That way the students can watch the ponies, if not the Ponies. And the SMU Program Council has come up with something called the Ultimate Alternative, which is actually many alternatives, including a film series, a concert by Ray Charles and an appearance by novelist Joyce Carol Oates.
Some forward-looking students are rushing around the Rolexville campus to all these events—and don't forget homecoming Nov. 7, when the soccer team plays TCU—in BMWs sporting bumper stickers that read: SMU FOOTBALL: A QUALITY PROGRAM SINCE 1989.
DUM QUOTE OF THE WEAK
After his Rams lost 49-3 to Tennessee on Saturday, Colorado State coach Leon Fuller said, "There weren't too many bright spots except for our defense."
•Best Anti-Steroid Observation: Jim Wahler, a defensive tackle at UCLA, says, "Any guy who says he can bench-press 550 pounds is probably on steroids. And the best thing you can do to a guy who takes them is to beat his butt on the field. He'll be saying, 'I took all those steroids, and they still didn't help.' "
•Best Sense of Humor (New Coach Division): Texas Tech's Spike Dykes says that when the Red Raiders recruited junior linebacker Dal Watson, "he'd never lost two games in a row in his life. But we got him adjusted."
•Best Perspective: According to Colorado noseguard Kyle Rappold, "Football is great. You get to kick, bite, sweat, spit, fight, win...and then afterward you get to hug a blonde."
•Loftiest Aim: Says Jim Walden, new coach of Towa State's Cyclones: "My goal is to win a game."
ACADEMICS LOSE AGAIN
Here are two recent examples of universities lowering their academic standards to keep star players on the football field: