"Cornell players are a bunch of love muffins," said linebacker Brad Hippenstiel, who was nearly expelled his freshman year for bow-hunting squirrels on the Penn Quad. "I hate Cornell and every other team in the Ivies, and every year my hatred for these dweezils grows deeper. People say Penn players are human, but we're not. We're between savages and cannibals. We're not quite cannibals, because they eat meat and we just spit at it."
In recent seasons the Quakers have gotten a reputation among their Ivy rivals for being rather ungentlemanly on the field—a charge the Barking Dogs don't deny—and rather un-Ivy in their approach to football off it. Indeed, on Saturday a Cornell alumnus blanketed Franklin Field with copies of a two-page parody of Penn's student newspaper, The Daily Pennsylvanian, that had the Quakers seceding from the Ancient Eight to play a schedule that included Nebraska, Ohio State and the New York Giants. Lista said his only worry was Cornell's practice of awarding its top defensive players Nepalese Gurkha knives. "I don't need anybody pulling a blade on me on the field," Lista complained. "I have a tough enough time getting home in West Philly."
As things turned out, Sumida stuck it to the Quaker secondary by continually shifting his receivers in endless variations of a play called the double right H-flY. "He had no reads, no dropbacks, no nothing," observed Jeff Reinebold, Penn's defensive backfield coach. "Sumida turned it into a basketball game. He just threw to the open man."
Sumida was not heavily recruited when he played at Konawaena High on Hawaii. He went to Cornell because one of the assistant coaches at Konawaena had gone there. Though Sumida hadn't played in a varsity game before this season, against the Quakers he completed 16 of 28 passes for 169 yards and engineered two scoring drives—the first for 99 yards in the second quarter, the second a 45-yarder in the second half. In pileups, Penn's Barking Dogs snarled at him, said things like, "You think you're bad. Wait till the next play—you're dead," and used his helmet as a handy push-off to help themselves to their feet. But Sumida kept cool. "Coach told us just to smile at them and get back in the huddle," he said.
The decisive play came midway through the fourth quarter, when Felitto decoded a Penn audible. On third-and-five on the Big Red 22-yard line and with Cornell ahead 17-10, Keller threw a play-action pass that Felitto deflected in the end zone beyond the reach of All-Ivy tight end Brent Novoselsky. The Quakers had to settle for a field goal. "When I heard them checking off, I left my man to run an inside drop," said Felitto. "I'll probably catch hell for this next week when we see the films."
But Felitto shouldn't be in Baughan's doghouse for long. "I've been waiting a long time to say this," Baughan said after the victory. His tone was devout. "Penn is a So What."