Scorecard

To connoisseurs of college fight songs, Michigan's The Victors ranks ahead of even those two soul-stirrers, USC's Fight On and Notre Dame's Victory March. None other than John Philip Sousa called The Victors one of the greatest marches ever written. From the first line of the chorus ("Hail to the victors valiant!...") to the last ("...the champions of the West!"), Michigan's fight song is a model of martial melody and uplifting lyric. So it was an affront to Wolverine fans and music lovers alike when on July 6 the city of Lansing, next-door neighbor to East Lansing, home of Michigan's archrival, Michigan State, declared The Victors noise pollution and, under the city's Traffic Code [Section 5.80(2)], banned it from Lansing streets.

When Michigan fans arrived for Saturday's game against Michigan State at Spartan Stadium, observance of the new ordinance was sporadic—it is reliably reported that the accursed song was heard more than once in the vicinity of passing Ann Arbor cars. Nevertheless, because the Spartans proceeded to score their first home victory over the Wolverines since 1969, a 17-11 upset, you can rest assured Lansing's superstitious Michigan State fans will resist any move to rescind the ordinance.

RUNNING SCARED
Are drooling Dobermans and snarling shepherds shattering the tranquillity of your early-morning run? At the same time, does your love of animals keep you from kicking a canine or macing a mongrel? K-II Enterprises of Camillus, N.Y., has produced what may be the solution to your dilemma, a handheld, ultrasonic dog deterrent called the Dazer. Terror permitting, the runner allows the four-legged fiend to approach to within 15 feet. Then he presses a button, which causes the Dazer to emit the proverbial "sound so high only a dog can hear it." That temporarily discomfits the hound, sending him into retreat and allowing the runner to continue, safely and guilt-free, on the road to fitness.

JUST DESSERTS
Has Steeltown U.S.A. gone soft? When strike replacements crossed the Steelers' picket line at Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh on Oct. 6, the pickets pelted them with jelly doughnuts.