"How come you're wearing argyles?" Noble asked Myers, pointing toward the pitcher's feet.
"I'm not," said Myers. "I got these at Woolworth's."
STRETCHING THE TRUTH
The new World Basketball League is limited to players under 6'5", a requirement that has resulted in a number of stars owning up suddenly to their real height after years of claiming to be taller. Take the top three rebounders in the WBL as of last week. The No. 1 rebounder, David Boone of the Calgary 88's, was supposedly 6'6" when he played at Marquette. Alfredrick Hughes of the Chicago Express, No. 3 in rebounds, was a 6'5" guard for Loyola of Chicago. Both are now listed as 6'4". But the tallest tale belongs to Andre Patterson, who was released last week by the Vancouver Nighthawks, despite ranking second in the league in rebounds and fifth in scoring. When Patterson was playing in the Continental Basketball Association, his height was listed as 6'8", but when he was officially measured before the start of the WBL season, he came in at 6'4?". Before the 13-24 Nighthawks released him in a general shake-up, Patterson was known in Vancouver as the Incredible Shrinking Man. Now he's totally invisible.
DON'T GO OVERBOARD
What is the most dangerous sport? Well, according to the Ontario Medical Association, it's fishing. In a survey of sporting deaths in 1986, the association found that 21 people had died in the province while fishing—most of them by drowning—the highest mortality rate for any sport in Ontario. Said Dr. Charles Tator, who is codirector of the Canadian Sports Spine and Head Injuries Research Centre in Toronto, "One of the most dangerous things one can do is stand up in a boat to pee over the side in rough water."
It's a good thing to keep in mind this summer that standing in a boat, no matter the conditions or the reason, is a bad idea.
The Mixed Blood Theatre in Minneapolis has been featuring a one-man show entitled Calvinisms, based on the life of Calvin Griffith, the former Minnesota Twins owner. Griffith himself went to the play on opening night, accompanied by Minneapolis Star Tribune columnist Patrick Reusse. As the curtain comes up, a corpulent man. stretched out in a chair, is lightly snoring, with a half-eaten hot dog, literally dripping with mustard, in his hand.
The real-life Griffith nudged Reusse and said, "That's me!"
A FORMER LINEMAN TACKLES A NEW ROLE