Which game is more athletic? Football players come off the practice field looking as if somebody had used their helmets to boil lobsters. Baseball players come off the practice field wearing their hats backward after a grueling game of pepper. Baseball is so taxing that sometimes guys can get in only 18 holes before a game. Put it this way: Nobody's surprised that guys like Charlie Kerfeld, Mickey Lolich and Terry Forster have played baseball. What's surprising is that Dom DeLuise never did.
So let's call baseball what it is—a nap aid. And the next time somebody tries to make you feel guilty about hating baseball, remind him of what ESPN college football commentator Beano Cook said in 1981 when commissioner Bowie Kuhn announced that the U.S hostages recently released by Iran would all receive free lifetime baseball passes:
"Haven't they suffered enough?"