The Japanese man did not laugh.
"Do you get it?" I said.
"I do not think that you showed much respect for this Charlie," said the man. "Nor for his wife."
This is what you are adding to the Japanese golf culture? Sick jokes?
Darn right! These guys need a laugh or two. Do you know how long it takes to play golf in Japan? All day and half the night is how long it takes.
The typical Sunday golf game for the average Japanese golfer goes like this: The night before, you ship your clubs off to the course, via a courier that specializes in transporting clubs, saving you the trouble of carrying them the next morning when you catch the six o'clock train, which will take you to your 9 a.m. tee time at a course far from Tokyo. Courses anywhere near Tokyo are much too costly.
You get to the course and tee off. But since the courses are so crowded, the wait is often 10 minutes between shots. You play nine holes in about three hours. Now you have lunch, drink beer and sake, soak in a Japanese bath and generally just waste time until your back-nine tee time.
Back-nine tee time?
Because so many people want to play golf in Japan, clubs send foursomes off both the front and the back nines all day. After you play one nine, you have to be squeezed into the other nine. O.K., so you play the other three-hour nine, get back in the bath, have a few beers and catch the train home.
One reason golf is so slow in Japan is that most of the players practice on the rooftop driving ranges. The most their shots travel is 20 yards before they hit the net. That's why the Japanese lose so many balls when they play on a course.