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2054: A SPORTS ODYSSEY
Rick Reilly
November 15, 1989
ON SI's 100TH BIRTHDAY, FANS WILL BEHOLD UPHILL SKIING AND 14-FOOT HOOPS. CAN INDIAN OCEAN BEAT DETRAGO? YOU MUST BE ZMUNKING
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November 15, 1989

2054: A Sports Odyssey

ON SI's 100TH BIRTHDAY, FANS WILL BEHOLD UPHILL SKIING AND 14-FOOT HOOPS. CAN INDIAN OCEAN BEAT DETRAGO? YOU MUST BE ZMUNKING

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(click) Limestone Layer, you're on the air.

Hey, Johnny, how about Detrago's chances to make the Super Bowl this year? Pretty good, don't you think?

Simulated or actual?

Actual.

Well, not as good as simulated. Lately, I've been flipping off the actual and going simulated so I can call my own plays. A buddy of mine has got a simulator too, and I played him the other night—he had Barcelona—and we pulverized the electrodes out of 'em. Detrago's got talent coming out of its protein holes! (click) Tibet. Talk to me.

Yes, lama plumber here and I'm positive I was someone named Shirley MacLaine in my past life. And before that....

(click) Right. And I was President Cosby. We'll break for sports headlines and be right back.

Announcer: Now it's time for SportsPlanet Tonight.... Well, Jackie Griffith Kersee Joyner has been moved from next month's Drug-Free Olympics into the Enhanced Olympics after traces of steroids were found in her fingernails. That leaves only three athletes in the Drug-Free Games.

In Miampa, six men who rented 12 sport-robots to help them get up a game of softball are being charged with robocide. The men said the uncontrollable robots insisted on taking their turns at bat and refused to stop throwing fastballs in excess of 300 miles per hour. The humans eventually destroyed the robots' brain chips by reading them passages from the Jackie Collins novel Hollywood Husbands.

That's the sports. Downtown temperature is 610�. Under the Ozone Dome, as always, it's 72�. Back to you, Johnny.

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