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"Amen!" mumbles Ike. "Listen," he continues briskly, "my intelligence reports tell me that you've been a 13 handicap for the past four months. Now why don't you admit it?"
"A 13 handicap!" Khrushchev cries in anguish. "Lies, lies! Listen, Ike, do I look like a 13 handicap?"
Ike's eyes narrow to little slits, and he peers intently at Khrushchev's bald head and 44 waist. "Looks can be deceiving," Ike says cryptically. Then looking casually in the direction of his Secret Service agents he adds, "Besides, some of my boys tell me that you've been secretly reading Ben Hogan's Five Lessons on the Modern Fundamentals of Golf."
"I beg your pardon," says Nick, icily. "The book to which you allude was written by the People's Golfer, Haganovitch. I've never heard of anybody named Hogan. But enough. Let us go ahead and play, and at the same time make, say, a small wager?"
"Name your own poison," cautions Ike.
"How about," says Nick, casually casting his eyes heavenward, "the moon?"
BASEBALL ISSUE: CONSENSUS
First: We feel that the cover should remain consistent. Much as we respect Willie Mays, and much as we enjoyed the article concerning him, we liked your cover format of the previous three years.
Second: Perhaps there are some unreconstructed Americans who are not interested in our national pastime, but they can take their reading pleasures in the remaining 51 weeks. This issue should be 100% baseball. Remember that true baseball fans have been fasting since October.
Third: In the synopsis of each team, we would like to see reinstated the profiles of managers and announcers. Managers do change...they can't all be Casey Stengels.