IKE AND NICK: A FRIENDLY GAME
Concerning your editorial, Alliance at the Summit (SI, April 20). You are there, it's June, 1959; Ike and Nick are meeting in Geneva for a summit conference. Both men have brought their golf clubs. By chance they meet on the first tee of the local golf course, Ike flanked by Secret Service agents, Nick by the KGB. Their meeting goes something like this:
Nick, smartly dressed in his scotch-plaid plus fours, approaches Ike who is swinging his driver back and forth in pendulum fashion. Ike is wearing his lightweight Wash'n Wears, a Ben Hogan cap, a black glove and a full-sleeved cardigan sweater. Nick speaks: "Say, Ike, I didn't know you were going to play today."
"Yes," returns Ike. "The way things are going I don't plan on being here much longer so I thought I'd take advantage of the nice weather we're having."
"Ah," says Nick, "I know what you mean. It really is a beautiful day." He pauses and then adds, "Are you playing by yourself or do you have a game?"
"No, I'm playing by myself. My friends," he continues, indicating the Secret Service men, "don't play."
"Now isn't that funny," replies Nicky, "my friends don't either."
"Well, if you are by yourself, Nick, I'd be glad to have you join me. Of course I'm kinda rusty; however, if you don't mind playing with a hacker you're welcome to come along."
"Well, that is mighty comradely of you—no offense intended. I would certainly deem it a pleasure to play with you, and even though I play pretty poorly I will try not to slow you up."
"Slow me up?" questions Ike, wryly. "Who do you think you're kidding, Nick? I heard about that 85 you shot at the East Berlin Country Club last week."
"Eighty-five!" screams Khrushchev. "Who the hell spread that lousy rumor? Listen," he went on, "the day I shoot 85, Mao Tse-tung will come steaming up the Volga River in a Chinese junk leading the People's navy."