?One trade that won't happen: Kansas City's Bud Daley to the Yanks. In past years this would have been a natural—All-Star Daley for a bundle of mediocre Yanks. But new KC owners will be working hard to erase the two clubs' chummy reputation.
Guard Don Manoukian of the Oakland Raiders was asked by a waiter how rare he wanted his steak. Said Manoukian: "Just knock the breath out of it."
When Forest Ranger Ed Moorehouse found a young moose leaning dispiritedly against a tree, he diagnosed the trouble right away: advanced dental decay. Moorehouse pried open the moose's jaws to confirm his diagnosis. Then he gently led the animal to his truck. In his Upper Blackville, New Brunswick backyard, Moorehouse yanked out seven rotten teeth with his fingers. He first put his patient on a whole milk liquid diet, later added oak and dead cherry leaves.
The moose, a female, quickly regained her health and composure. She clowned around for visitors, showing her bare gums. When a sick moose regains his health, does he long for the freedom of the wild woods? Moorehouse fears not. The last toothachy moose he befriended refused to be pushed out, became a showgirl, so to speak, in a New Brunswick government wildlife exhibit.
TARZAN IN VEGAS
The tall man went out for an early-morning dip in the swimming pool of a Las Vegas hotel. A caretaker waved him back and said, "You can't swim without a lifeguard on duty."
"Don't you know who I am?" said the tall one.
"No," said the guard. "Who are you?"
"I'm the new lifeguard," said Johnny Weissmuller and he plunged into the water.