They All Boo When Red Sits Down

?When the other team is given possession of the ball from an official's decision, don't throw the ball directly to an opponent. The ball should be thrown rather slowly to the official. This will give your men time to get set on defense.

?Place the scorer's and timer's table near your bench.

?Wait until the other team has started warming up and then request their basket. This request must be honored away from home.

For those who have never had the privilege of hearing an Auerbach performance from the bench (and vicinity), the following is (exclusive! live! in black and white!) a verbatim account of same during the first quarter of the game of March 5 at Baltimore, in which the Celtics were outscored 37-27:

Just before the referee was about to throw the ball up for the center jump, Auerbach stood up and said: "I think the visiting team ought to pick the ball. I don't want to say anything, but it's the way it's supposed to be."

"Walking!"

"Whatya got?"

"Look at 'em holding 'em!"

"Goddam!" [He stamped his foot, and then slumped back, in evident agony, as though a Jivaro seated in the balcony had hit him with a poisoned dart.]

"One!" [This is one of the Celtics' seven basic plays, of which there are 28 variations.]