"Dear Mr. Quayat:
1. You must be a nut.
2. We haven't got the time.
3. The wood removed is mixed with other scrap and cannot be tracked down.
4. So sorry, old boy.
5. We have some pieces, random size.
6. We can ship them to you by parcel post.
7. Please send check for....
8. We hope you realize that the time this will take is not quite covered by your check, but we are willing to do it because Columbia means so much to you guys out there.
9. Please do not bother us again with things of this nature."