Son: No, I struck out.
Father: Oh, well, you must have done good in the field then.
Son: No, nobody hit one where I was.
Father: I thought you said you did good. How can you say that when you strike out and don't catch one ball?
Son: I was a good sport.
PLUGGING THE MUSCLE DRAIN
Can a two-year-old university located in a suburb of Vancouver, B.C. ever play in the Rose Bowl? Unquestionably, says Gordon Shrum, 70, chancellor of Simon Fraser University (enrollment: 2,000), which is named after the man who explored the Fraser River to its mouth in 1808. Shrum, a Ph. D. in physics, hopes to have Simon Fraser in the AAWU by 1976. The catch: Simon Fraser is the only university in Canada awarding athletic scholarships.
There is little likelihood that other Canadian schools will follow Shrum's lead. The Canadian Intercollegiate Athletic Union, of which Simon Fraser is not a member, recently voted 52-0 against athletic scholarships. Dr. G. Edward Hall, president of the University of Western Ontario, sums up its position: athletic scholarships, he says, are "as insidious as they are disruptive."
Shrum claims that Canada is losing athletes and coaches to the U.S., often for good, while his detractors argue that universities are for study and sports are for relaxation. Even student bodies are arrayed against Shrum. Thundered the University of Guelph's Ontarion Item: "A university must be known by its education reputation alone, and athletics are not education."
There is, however, little doubt that Canada is suffering a muscle drain. At least 160 Canadians are now on football scholarships in the U.S., although most of them will return to play pro ball since they were steered south by the U.S. coaches of the Canadian Football League. For example, the Ottawa Roughriders have 30 prospects playing in the U.S., the British Columbia Lions 29. The reason: Canadian pro teams may carry only 14 American imports; the rest of the squad must be homebreds, and if they are going to be any good they've got to get U.S. coaching.