3) You are your own man, the master of your ship. You need no caddie. You make your own decisions. Instead of taking as gospel an opinion on distance from a downy-faced juvenile who quite possibly has severe myopia, you make up your mind for yourself.
4) When you travel, two clubs handily packed in a Navy officer's sword cover are far handier and lighter than a voluminous bag containing 14.
5) The course, with its traps and hazards, loses its terror for you, since you can repair the damage done by a ball hit out-of-bounds or into a bunker by using more discretion with your mulligan. On approach shots and putts you can take advantage of what your first ball showed you about distance, rolls in the green, etc. as you hit your mulligan. This also limits your brooding. You forget your inept first shot and only remember your cagey second.
6) It evens up golfers of different caliber. The good player may hit both his approaches onto the green, but he can only play one of them. The poor golfer can hit his first shot into the bunker and still be even by getting on with his mulligan. With selective putts, it is amazing how equal the game becomes.
7) When you repair to the 19th hole you can happily go over a round in which the fairway has been your twin brother, not a fourth cousin once removed, and you can gloat over hitting more good shots in nine holes than you normally hit in a hundred and nine.
So there you have it, VAAGG ( Van Alen's Answer to Grief in Golf). It works as advertised, it produces golf without tears, it is the hacker's delight.
What is that you are saying, my friend? VAAGG isn't really golf at all? Well, I didn't want to mention it, but neither is the game you have been playing.