? Gene Shue, coach of the last-place Baltimore Bullets: "The way we're going, we could get Wilt Chamberlain in a trade and then find out that he's really two midgets Scotch-taped together."
? Grady Hatton, Houston manager, on umpiring: "It's the only occupation I know where on the first day you must be perfect and then improve over the years."
?Alec Issigonis, designer of the Mini Cooper, which has won three of the last four Monte Carlo rallies: "I could cry, it's so ridiculous. I design a people's car, and it does mad things."
? John Edwards, Cincinnati catcher, leaving the office of Assistant General Manager Phil Seghi after salary negotiations, to Second Baseman Pete Rose: "Don't go in now, Pete, I think he's going to borrow from the next guy."